The police are equipped to handle domestic issues, even if there is no apparent violence. I But then I invited Kacie to stay here wouldn't hesitate to call them on the non-emergency number, and i have done it in the part. When tempers are flaring, it doesn't take much for the situation to escalate, especially when the parties involved don't have enough self-respect and respect for their neighbors to keep their voices down.

How would you feel if something bad happened to one of them and you had not done something as simple as offering to take one of your neighbors for a walk around the block to cool off? Step up and DO something. We are all neighbors and that should matter.

A couple weeks ago our neighbor had not warned us she was hosting a school theater cast party on Friday night (the end of a *very stressful* week for us). There were at least 30 out-of-control, screaming middle-schoolers all over the neighbor's porch & yard, heard at least two blocks away. She would not let them in the house - and judging from the behavior we heard, we understand why! After an hour, we phoned her. Her first reply was, "WhaaaT? I can't hear you!" After pleasantries, my husband said, "Ya, that's the point. You've got to do something about the noise. How long is this going to last?" She defensively told us to bear with it, it doesn't happen that often, and would be over at 9:30. She was overwhelmed.

Our concern was that there was only one adult, and she was hiding in the house getting the kids more candy & Mt Dew. The kids' screams were beyond fun - if an attack occurred, we would not have recognized the difference in the screams.

After another hour, we phoned the police. Judging by the noise level, they never showed up. True to the neighbor's word though, the group dispersed at 9:30. An event that out-of-control should never have been imposed on the neighbors. Still waiting for her apology.

Denise, I definitely agree with you that I could have done something last week when I heard the argument. But I think I should have called the police, not actually gone out to take care of it myself. It was too volatile a situation for me to insert myself. Definite lesson learned here though as just the other night, the same neighbors and their friends were out till after midnight in their front yard- oblivious to the noise level they were creating. This time it wasn't an argument; they were just incredibly loud and inconsiderate.

Related, I've always worried about when is too early or too late to let my dog out into the backyard. I'm lucky to have neighbors that have never complained (or even expressed annoyance) with our barking beagle). But when he's whining at 7am to go outside it's hard to say no, even if I know he's likely going to end up barking.

I'm not sure that just because someone doesn't complain when you/your kids/your pets make lots of noise it should be assumed that they don't mind...When I have had neighbors with loud barky dogs, I assumed that since they must have been able to hear the barking but took no action, they obviously didn't care that they were waking up the neighborhood on a regular basis, so there was no point in complaining. I didn't know them well and would have really, really appreciated it had they come to me and said "hey, our dog can be loud and we try to keep him in as much as possible, but please let us know if the barking bothers you."

LG, that's reasonable. We know most of our neighbors fairly well and made it clear early on that they should let us know if our dog is bothering them. But you are right that their silence doesn't necessarily mean they aren't bothered by his barking (or noisy kids, or whatever your personal loud thing is).

Still, I think it's a good policy to try and talk to your neighbors if they are doing something that bothers you, as long as you feel safe doing that. I know I would welcome a comment from a neighbor if they felt our dog is too loud.

However, in Jen's case above, if she were going to do anything, I feel police is the best option just for her own safety.

I have been on the receiving end of a complaint about unneighborly conduct. I have two dogs - both bark. I am an extremely conscientious person - sometimes to a fault - and I try to make sure that they don't go out outdoors too early or too late. If they are outdoors and start to bark, I usher them inside as quickly as I can.
Months ago, I left town for three days unexpectedly (family emergency). My husband, who works a lot, left the dogs outside most of the time I was gone. After day three, a note was left on the door by a neighbor complaining that we lacked respect. It was unsigned. I was horrified. Still am. If I knew who left it, I would have gone and apologized in person.
When we moved in, we spoke with our immediate neighbors and told them to let us know if they were ever annoyed by the dogs (or us for that matter).
I appreciate that the police were not called. A note was enough. It was effective. I wish it had been signed. But, other than that, it was a justifiable and good response.
This is all just to say that even people who try to be good neighbors can sometimes be "bad" ones. I always try to remember that and to give people the benefit of the doubt. Being a good neighbor can sometimes mean biting your tongue and being understanding. Every situation is different though - when safety issues are a concern, the police might need to be involved. An out of the norm annoyance - bear with it or, if you must do something, handle it by note or a chat.